Who's Finally Mrs Prower?
by Hypo Prower
Summary: The first time, it was confusing. The second time, it was complicated. This time it's going to get violent. The last in the Who's Mrs. Prower series!
1. Happily Ever After

**What the heck have I done?? Here we go again...**

**This is the sequel to Who's REALLY Mrs. Prower? for anybody who doesn't know. It starts about seven months after the last one, so it's not a direct continuation. I guess it can be read on it's own, but to get some of the jokes I would recommend reading the first two before starting this one.**

**I honestly don't know how often this is going to get updated, so be prepared for that...**

* * *

Miles "Tails" Prower walked up to his front door, a giant grin plastered on his face. Holding his hand was his date, Mina Mongoose. The purple rock singer was happy as she could be as she walked up Tails' front steps.

The two paused and turned to face each other, hands clasp together. Tails smiled widely, his blue eyes sparkling. "Tonight was amazing, Mina," he whispered, almost breathless. Mina stared back, and the smile on her face told Tails that she thought the same thing.

After staring into each other's eyes for a few moments, they finally leaned into a soft, gentle kiss. It only lasted a few seconds before they broke, but Tails' heart was doing back flips. That was magical.

Mina gigged and blushed, her gaze trailing down to the door mat beneath her feet. "Do…do you mind if I come in for a few minutes before I come home?" she asked, almost cautiously. Tails nodded and, without looking away, reached for his door knob.

"I'd like nothing better," he replied, and gently pushed the door open.

Tails and Mina walked inside, hand in hand, and the fox flipped his living room light switch open.

Seated on the two recliners and the large sofa was none other than Cream Rabbit, Fiona Fox, Cosmo, and Marine Raccoon.

Tails gawked at the scene, bewildered. Mina stared at the four other ladies, dumbfounded. "T-Tails…what are all these women doing in your house…?"

The four ladies seated inside wore glaring expressions, and each of their eyes were locked in on Mina. Marine was the first to speak. "So, 'AT'S th' best yer could come up with, mate?" she demanded, crossing her arms and swishing her tail. "You rejected alla' us fer HER?!"

Mina's pupils dilated in shock as Tails slapped his forehead. _Oh no._

Fiona was the next to have her say. The red vulpine stood up, placing one black gloved hand on her hip. Raising an eyebrow, she growled, "You know, I can't even tell what kind of animal she is. Is she a bear? Or a mouse?"

"Fiona…" Tails started say something, but was cut off by Cosmo, who had leapt up next.

"And PURPLE? I mean, sheesh, I thought _green_ was weird! I've never even heard of a purple species." The seedrian smirked. "That's pretty sad, considering that I'm an alien."

Mina was beginning to look a little big upset at this point. Tails gulped and felt a bead of sweat trail his neck. _Uh-oh, she's the crying type…_

Last but not least, Cream hopped up from the sofa she was seated on. "And her dress? The tackiest! If she's a rock star, couldn't she afford some clothes that…I dunno…didn't suck?"

Tails' hand was abruptly dropped as Mina burst into tears. "Waaah!" she cried. "Tails, your friends are awful! Waaah~!!" With that, the mongoose dashed out the front door, slamming it behind her.

The twin-tailed fox watched her go, then angrily shifted his gaze to the four now-celebrating ladies in his living room. "Well, I hope you're all proud of yourselves," he hollered above their cheers. "That's the third one this month!"

Fiona smirked as she winked at the younger fox. "Oh, sweetie, we're just trying to protect you from anyone awful!" she justified, swishing her tail excitedly.

Tails scowled for a moment while everyone else cheered. Finally, he threw up his arms and screamed, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

The diabolical foursome stopped high fiving for a second to study Tails after his outburst. He barred his teeth and held out his fingers to count. "First it was Amy, then it was Sally, now it's Mina, for pete's sake…when are you going to let me live my life and date someone without scaring them off!"

Cosmo rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, Sally was the worst."

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Tails retorted, giving the alien a look. "It's my life, and I'm not going to go on with having you four ruin it! I mean, geez, give me some room to breathe!"

Marine's face abruptly dropped. "Y-yer mean…yer dan't loike…any of us…?"

Tails shifted his gaze to the raccoon, who was joined by Cream, Fiona and Cosmo. Tears were forming in the corners of their eyes, and their eyes had turned huge and bubbly. Cream's lower lip began to tremble as she spoke meekly, "You…hate us all?"

"Ugh…no, I do not hate you all," Tails replied, almost grudgingly. This caused the four tear-ridden girls to cheer up slightly. "But for goodness sake, I need this all to stop. I just want to finally settle down with…someone."

Silence filled the room.

Fiona's face instantly grew a smile, and she exclaimed, "You mean you're finally ready to make your decision?!!"

Instantly, chatter filled the room, and Tails took a deep breath. Very quietly, he took a cushion off the sofa and dispensed and air horn, then covered one ear with his free finger as he pressed down on the nozzle.

_ERRRRRNNNNNNNN!!!!!!_

After everyone was quiet, Tails cleared his throat. "Yeah, see, here's the thing…I have no idea who I'm going to choose. And the last two attempts have failed miserably, so…"

Marine raised her hand. "Oi'll make it easy: pick me."

Tails shot her a look. "That's not fair to the others."

Cosmo narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, especially whenever he's really in love with me."

"Hey, what about me??" Cream demanded, throwing her hands up. This caused Fiona to get accidently smacked.

"I'll show you, what about you…" Fiona rolled up the sleeves to her black shirt and launched at the rabbit, knocking her over. She could hold her own, though, and wrestled her way on top of the older fox. Marine and Cosmo ended up joining the fray too, leaving Tails to stand watching nonchalantly.

"I'll be upstairs, attempting to sleep, lock the door on the way out…" The twin-tailed sidekick seemed a big uninterested as he strolled upstairs, undoing the tie around his neck.

"'K," All the girls chimed before resuming their duke fest.

Once upstairs in his bedroom, Tails ran a hand through his hair and studied himself in the mirror. He was already developing lines under his eyes from stress, although with all his fur it was rather hard to tell.

This wasn't going to work anymore.

This was it. If any of these girls laid one more finger on him, he thought he was going to explode. These ladies were driving him absolutely up the wall, and he couldn't take it anymore.

Tails' ears perked up as he heard the last girl walk out of the front door. Good. They were gone. He could scream in peace.

The fox collapsed on his bed and sighed. There had to be some way—any way—to solve this problem. He had to think logically. This was a math problem, and there had to be a solution.

4 girls plus Tails equals MATH ERROR.

4 girls minus 2 girls equals SYNTAX ERROR.

4 girls minus 3 girls equals ONE.

1 girl plus Tails equals 3.

One girl. That was it.

Tails sat up in his bed and smiled. Why didn't he think of that before?

Why divide them and try to get rid of them one by one, when all he had to do was group them and let them fight it out themselves?

There would be a tournament. All they'd have to do is kill each other.

The winner marries Tails.

And they would live happily ever after…

* * *

**How was that? Excited? Scared? Bored? Please tell me in a review!**


	2. Plan of Action

**A/N: Hey, sorry about the late update guys, I really meant to get on top of things again but school got in the way...**

**I'm going to try to make this one have a bit more plot than the last two, so it won't just be the basic formula again. There'll be some character development! Yay!**

* * *

Tails coughed and eyed the darkness warily as he walked into the old warehouse on the far side of town. The place was poorly lit, with only a small amount of light shining through the nearby window. Seated, there, was a shady figure in a top hat. "Come, come on in," the voice greeted warmly, making Tails a bit more comfortable about the whole situation.

Well, at least he knew the person wouldn't hurt him.

Rouge Bat flipped on a nearby light switch and took off the puffy black hat she was wearing. "Tails, nice to see you sweetie!" she said in her seducing voice, making Tails blush a bit.

"Hey Rouge, thanks for meeting me here," Tails said with an embarrassed smile. His twin tails twitched bashfully as the bat flew up from her chair behind her desk and floated down majestically next to Tails.

"Alright honey, I know you wouldn't come here if you didn't have something that needed to be done, so lay it on me," Rouge said in a no-nonsense voice, winking.

Tails sighed and felt a bead of sweat drip down the side of his furry head. This was kind of embarrassing. "OK, well I have this problem…this _girl_ problem. Simply put, they won't leave me the heck alone. So I need a way to get them to do so…not only that, but one of them has to fall in love with me."

Rouge thought for a moment before smiling. "Why don't you just date them all and pick which one is the best?"

"Please, I already tried that," Tails said with a roll of his cyan eyes.

"How about you try to make some of them fall in love with someone else?"

"Already tried."

"Oh, I know! You can just date other girls and maybe they'll get the hint…"

Tails felt like yelling, so he did. "Geez, don't you think I've thought of all those things already?" he exasperated, his eyes bugging out a bit. "They won't leave me ALONE! So somehow I've got to make one of them fall absolutely head over heels for me, and the other three have to…disappear."

Rouge frowned, pressing her lips together to make sure her lip stick was still fresh. "Hmm, that's a toughy sweetheart…you're usually the crafty one though…you have a plan?"

"Sort of," Tails admitted. "See, I was going to try to put them in a…tournament of sorts."

"That's awful!" Rouge almost smacked the fox.

Tails stopped her before she did. "Now, not like a literal tournament…but more like a mental one. See, I'll have each of the girls have…encounters with one another, and eventually they'll get so sick of fighting each other that three of them will give up. The toughest one gets yours truly!"

Rouge let the information digest a bit before giving him a thoughtful look. "You know, that sounds more selfish than anything."

"Maybe it is," Tails agreed, rubbing the back of his head. "But I can't go on like this anymore. I'm starting to get gray fur, and I'm only 16."

"You're already 16?!" Rouge's eyelids flew open and her eyes glittered with surprise. "Time has gone so fast! But I guess that makes sense because I'm 21…"

The twin-tailed fox couldn't help but smile at Rouge's enthusiasm about trivial matters. It seemed like all girls were the same. "Um, anyway, you'll help me with this?"

There was a pause as the white bat gained her composure and spun around quickly, her back facing Tails. "Oh, I suppose…" Then she turned her head, smiling seductively. "If you can pay, of course."

Well, that was pretty much inevitable. Reaching into his pocket, Tails produced an aqua colored Chaos Emerald. "It's all yours, Rouge," he answered, holding it out. Rouge smiled wider and gently took the emerald, flying back up and landing in her chair behind her desk.

"You're a cutie," she smiled, beckoning to come to her desk. "Well, we might as well draw up some ideas…we don't want to do this wrong this time, do we?"

***

This was it. Today was the day. It was go time.

The distressed twin-tailed fox couldn't help but smile just a bit as he went over the chart he and Rouge had come up with. It was a bit like a tournament chart, with four bubbles that led up into two different battles. That was the easy part; he could just fill in the names later.

The harder part was listed on the other paper that he held. This had a bunch of different scenarios on it to which the girls could encounter each other. For example, one scenario was: _You go to a restaurant that you know two different girls are going to that day, and you continuously flirt with them until they've had enough and they begin to tussle._

Rouge was so crafty. Tails would have to give her a hug later.

Yes, this seemed wrong. Yes, it seemed diabolical. Yes, it seemed just plain selfish. But Tails was tired of trying to please everybody. This time it seemed like there was no pleasing everybody, and somebody was going to have to suffer.

Tails tapped the pencil he held to his chin and leaned on the desk he was seated at in his house. Now, what scenario should he use and which girls should he match up?

The fourth one seemed like a pretty good start, and it sounded simple enough: _Promise two girls to go out to a picnic at the same time 'accidently', and get them to fight each other by complimenting both their foods._

It was nearing seven at night, so obviously it was too late to do this today. Tails left the papers on his desk and yawned, sauntering into the living room to watch some television before bed.

Unbeknownst to him, however, a figure was watching him through the window in his room. He eyed the papers mischievously before speeding away into the darkness.


	3. Rain On Our Picnic

**A/N: Ahhh! So sorry, guys! I really meant to get into gear finally with this one, but it turns out I fail miserably at updating often...sorry!**

**In any case, here's chapter three! Tell me what you think.**

* * *

Tails furtively looked at his watch and pressed on his accelerator even more than he had before. His speed was nearing seventy miles per hour. Dangit, Dangit, DANGIT!! Why did this always happen to him??

That morning had been awful for the fox. First his shower had ran out of hot water for whatever reason, then on his way out of the house he stepped in a giant mud puddle, which caused him to run back into his house and wash his foot again. Finally, as he was on his way to his car, the crazy neighbor's dog had mauled him, nearly chewing a hole in his leg.

Unfortunately, Tails didn't have time to clean the wound, since he was already late for his dates. So, his leg bleeding, he kept on racing down the back roads outside of Station Square; there was no way he could delay this picnic anymore.

Speaking of which, how were his two dates holding up?

* * *

Cream huffed and crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently. "Mother, is the picnic basket ready yet?!" she demanded, shooting her mom a look. Vanilla was bustling around the kitchen, throwing a ton of food into a brand new picnic basket, just bought for the occasion.

The taller bunny gave her daughter a sympathetic look. "Cream, I know you aren't normally this demanding, I know you're under stress, but you have to get your priorities straight, sweetie." Vanilla finally stuck one last can of soda into a picnic basket and sighed. "I want you to win over this guy, but at the same time, I want _you_ to be happy, not someone else."

Cream looked at Vanilla, her brown eyes turning bigger. "I'm sorry, Mother, you're right," she whimpered, walking over to the picnic basket on the counter. She picked it up, "But if Tails and I get together, I really WILL be happy. I promise." The rabbit smiled, "He makes me happy."

Vanilla smiled kindly. "I'm glad that's how you feel."

Abruptly, Cream frowned, "That's why I have to beat all those other girls! I HAVE to win my Tails over!"

Vanilla was dumbstruck, "Umm…I'm glad you feel that way, Cream."

With that, Cream skipped out the front door and waved, "Well, I'm off! Wish me luck!"

"Good bye!" Vanilla waved at her daughter until she had disappeared over the horizon, on her way to the bus stop. She then frowned, thinking, _Hmm, I hope this whole competition doesn't ruin her._

* * *

Cosmo stuck an umbrella into the soft earth below her feet, finally finishing her perfect set up. A perfect picnic layout was set up beside her, complete with a blanket, picnic basket loaded with various foods and beverages, including the special mint chocolate soufflé the alien girl had made special last night.

If she had learned anything from secretly stalking his Facebook page, it was that he loooooved mint chocolate.

Now all that was left was to wait.

Cosmo sat down and crossed her legs, squinting over the horizon. Hmm, it was eleven thirty, wasn't it? The time that Tails had wanted to meet her here? Curious, she pulled out her cell phone and found it was eleven twenty-five.

OK. He had five minutes.

When five minutes were up, Cosmo started to get worried.

* * *

Tails nearly hopped out of his seat when his cell phone rang with its unusually loud ringer. "Yeah, what??" he answered quickly, trying to drive and talk at the same time.

"It's Cosmo," the reply came. "It's almost twenty till. Where are you?"

Ugh, Cosmo! Of course! Cream didn't have a cell phone. "Uhh, slight holdup in traffic," Tails lied, even though he was speeding down the highway. "I'll be there as soon as I can, alright?"

"Alright, but…"

"Ooh, wait, got another call!" Tails quickly disconnected the call from Cosmo and answered the other call that was buzzing in his ear. "Hello?" he asked, too distracted to look at the caller ID.

"Hey Tails, it's Sonic," the reply came, almost a little too enthusiastically.

Tails groaned under his breath and answered, "What's up? I'm a little busy here."

"OK, then I'll make this quick," Sonic chattered, oblivious to Tails' dilemma. "What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?"

"What??"

Sonic snickered before he said, "Anybody can roast beef…but nobody can pee soup!"

Tails furrowed his brow in annoyance, "Look, Sonic, I don't have time to—"

Before the twin-tailed fox realized what was going on, his small car was starting to swerve off the road. He screamed, trying desperately to turn the wheel, and unwittingly reconnected his call with Cosmo. "Tails? Tails??" Cosmo's voice rang through loudly through the phone speaker, even though it wasn't even on Tails' ear anymore. "What's going on?!"

Something finally stopped Tails' car before it flipped over.

A speed limit sign.

_Irony, I HATE you,_ Tails thought sickeningly a split second before the air bags in his car exploded onto his face. His head was thrown backwards into the seat, but after the momentum, he seemed to be fine. Tails wriggled out of the airbag's grasp and managed to squeeze out of his door. Luckily, no damage had come to him.

The front of the car, however, was a different case.

"Well, cra—"

Before Tails could finish his outburst, he heard a screech come from the distance. "TAILS!" came a high-pitched squeal, and as the fox spun around, his pupils dilated.

Holy…

Cream tackled Tails onto the ground, unknowingly hurting him more than he was already hurt. "Oh, Tails! Are you alright?" she asked worriedly, scouring the fox's body from head to toe. Tails smiled sheepishly and put his hand behind his head.

"Oh, don't worry Cream, I'm fine, it was just a little accid—"

"Ohmygosh, you're BLEEDING!"

Tails flattened his ears to his head in horror, "I'm BLEEDING?!"

"Yeah!" Cream held up his injured leg, which had, in reality, been mauled by a dog. Tails chuckled and with a small smile, reassured the beige colored rabbit.

"No need to worry, Cream," he started. "That's from a do—"

However, Tails was cut off again as Cream was picked up by the back of her dress and flung carelessly into the middle of the highway. After her body flew into the air, it revealed Cosmo, who looked just as worried as ever. "Tails, are you alright?" she asked, her eyes getting wider. "All I heard was a scream and then you hung up your phone…I was so worried!"

Not wanting to get cut off again, Tails replied, "Yes Cosmo, I'm fine, my leg is from a—"

"A deranged bunny, no doubt!" Cosmo sputtered angrily, her dagger-shooting eyes now locked on Cream. She sat up, not even caring she was in the middle of the highway, and started screaming at the green colored alien.

"Now listen up, bimbo!" Cream demanded. "I didn't cause Tails' leg to start bleeding! It was obviously from the car wreck he just got into! Now, are you too worried to be telling me off than to not worry about poor Tails' car??"

Cosmo's eyes flashed even darker, if that was even possible, and before the two could think about what was happening, she tackled Cream to the road and started rolling around, trading blow.

Tails could just watch, his mouth agape. "Well, at least I'm not getting cut off agai—HOLY…!!" The fox cut his own speed off as he realized a large semi was speeding down the back road, apparently having the same idea as Tails, judging by his speed. He whipped his head over to the two quarreling girls and starting waving his hands frantically, "Guys, get the heck off the highway! You're gonna get killed!!"

Cream and Cosmo ignored him, too caught up in the fight to care what they were fighting about.

Huffing, Tails used his twin tails to fly up into the air, and quickly flew over to the two. He picked Cream up by an ear and he grabbed Cosmo uncomfortably around the waist, and, not wasting time, flew back over to the side of the road…just as the semi passed over the spot where the fight was taking place.

Tails sighed with relief, and his arms were almost weak from the tragedy that had just almost occurred. "Can you guys stop fighting for one second so we can talk for a minute?...uh, guys?"

That notion was useless, because the two were at it again. Cream bit Cosmo's hand, Cosmo kicked Cream's head, so on, so forth. Well, this is what Tails wanted, right?

However, after ten minutes, the whole thing was starting to get a little boring. They were hearty, Tails had to give them that. In an effort to not fall asleep, the two-tailed fox started walking down the road aimlessly, wondering how long it would have taken him to get to the spot where he was supposed to have a picnic.

When he arrived there in about five minutes, he smiled.

Looks like Cosmo had set up early.

Well, he couldn't let all this food go to waste, could he?

About fifteen minutes after Tails had sat down, he could see a figure coming off in the distance. After a few moments he finally realized that it was Cosmo…dragging the limp body of Cream. He almost choked on his potato salad; did he really KILL the poor girl?

When Cosmo arrived, she smiled at Tails. "Do you like all the food I made, sweetie?"

"Mmm-hmm," he replied, too worried about the seedrian killing him to say bad things about her food.

Cosmo smiled wider as she plopped down beside him, cutting herself a piece of chicken. Tails swallowed nervously and peered at the limp body of Cream beside her. "Is she…dead?" Cosmo laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, no, she's absolutely fine," she replied. "Just unconscious."

"Oh." Tails remembered the tournament-like bracket he had whipped up with Rouge and took it out of his pocket, marking Cosmo's name as the winner. The alien cocked her head curiously at Tails' paper.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," the fox lied, taking a sip of his Diet Coke. "Man, this stuff is good."

"I have mint chocolate soufflé…"

Drool formed at the corners of Tails' mouth, and he knew that she was going to be a good choice for him.

…if he picked her.


End file.
